Listen to Yourself

About a month ago I picked up Oprah's "O" magazine from the shelf, something I would not normally be interested in reading, because it said "Let intuition be your guide" on the front cover.  It spoke to me, in fact I remember saying: "yes, I need to listen to that voice".  So I bought it and read the articles on intuition and they gave me the strength to listen to myself.  We'll talk more about the articles in a minute, but first let me give you some perspective on where I was in my life only a few months ago.

At the beginning of 2011 my husband and I were living in Boston, he was interviewing for a job based in southern CT (which would require a move if he got it), I was getting over an illness and went back to the fast-pace pharmaceutical job that made me unhappy, and things were a bit stressful.  So my husband got the job, I resigned from my job, we rented out our home in Boston and moved to CT.  I arrived to our new home more lost than I've ever been in my life.  I was looking for a new job and a new career that would make me feel happy and fulfilled.  What I soon came to realize is the feelings of happiness, peace, and fulfillment have to come from within and not from something external, especially a job. So I flailed a bit and made a lot of people uneasy (What is she doing with her life?  She needs to get her act together.  She needs to get a job.).  Finally, I decided I needed some professional help to get me out of this rut and I turned to a therapist and life coach, let's call her Anne.  Anne told me that the answer (to the questions: "Where do I go from here?" and "What career path should I choose?") was inside of me and she would help me to tease it out and guide me along.  She told me something that first day that was so freeing she said: "Sarah, don't be afraid to dream".  She said when you get home write down what your dream day looks like: where do you wake up?  what does it look like?  where do you go to work?  who is there? and really just walk yourself through every step.  This exercise and some others got me listening to my intuition and what my body, soul, and heart really want out of life.

Then, I picked up the "O" magazine and read.  The first article written by Martha Beck started with a sentence I could so relate to: "It's not always easy to hear your inner voice - especially when a louder, pushier, and seemingly more sensible presence wants to drown it out."  Everyone has these two voices battling it out in your head each time a decision needs to be made, whether we listen to them or not.  I began referring to the inner, intuitive, positive voice as the "cheerleader voice" and the external, pushy, negative voice as the "critical voice".  Depending on your life experience the critical voice can be a mix of a parent, teacher, friend or any other influencing figure in your life as a young person.  And I think of the cheerleader voice as your own soul guiding you and telling you that you're strong, smart, and you can do anything you set your mind to!  Of course I like the latter voice better, that voice makes me feel good inside.  But the former voice is often the louder voice and the one that is so deeply ingrained in us, the one that tells us not to screw up.  In an effort to find and listen to my true self and not be held back by the critical voice I had to tell it to quiet down so I could turn up the volume on the cheerleader voice.

So with the help of Anne and the wise advice in this article I decided I didn't like what I was doing, it wasn't serving me well, and I was going to change.  In order to stay true to this new path, listening to my new-found inner voice I keep a journal, write down inspiring quotes, and practice yoga.  Each day I feel more strong, centered, and happy.  Maybe I'll be able to find the happiness and fulfillment I so craved (and previously thought I could find in a career).  Now, I'm hopeful I will through this journey.  So I hope you'll join me dear family, friends, and future friends as I venture out and blog about my experiences with life, learning and yoga!

A quote I have hung near my bedside to remind me of my "right" path: "I listen to my intuition and it serves me well"  -unknown author